Going to a birthday party
27/09/07 22:46 |
Personal
from
my friend's birthday party party invitation, written
by him:
Created just for you by me. Any jokes made by this card are copyrighted material. Any attempt at plagiarism will result in a punishment as best seen fit to the amount of plagiarism used. If only one word is used then there will only be a fine of 2 million dollars. As more words are used the fine will be increased. If more than five words are used then corporal punishment may be used. After ten plagiarism offenses then your life is void and will quickly and without warning be eradicated. Also if a gift is not brought or is not of enough significance the recipient has the right to scream and cry at unimaginable volumes resulting in extensive ear damage. He may also beat you with a large fiber glass and attempt to shove you in an industrialized freezer to preserve you for future generations. If at any time during the celebration you anger Mark then you will be allowed a 0.0000000000000000024800000000000996237588564821 second head start before he does the aforementioned items (see subject of "bad presents.") When at the celebration all members must say the word moose every time they talk. The first offense to this rule you will be given a warning. Any offense after the first will result in the immediate removal of your shoes without a defined return date. Please abide by all rules mentioned here and any other ridiculous rules made up during the celebration. Failure to do so will result in extremely long periods of Mark looking uber sad thusly giving you uber amounts of guilt. Remember to have uber fun at Mark's birthday celebration and remember to always brush your teeth before bed for when you are sleeping is when germs and bacteria are most likely to grow at night. 11 out of 10 dentists recommend using UBER brand Uber Toothpaste to stop this hideous affliction. (p.s. presents can be substituted with lunchmeats. Remember though that this is only considered a temporary replacement and an actual present is expected.) THANK YOU!
Created just for you by me. Any jokes made by this card are copyrighted material. Any attempt at plagiarism will result in a punishment as best seen fit to the amount of plagiarism used. If only one word is used then there will only be a fine of 2 million dollars. As more words are used the fine will be increased. If more than five words are used then corporal punishment may be used. After ten plagiarism offenses then your life is void and will quickly and without warning be eradicated. Also if a gift is not brought or is not of enough significance the recipient has the right to scream and cry at unimaginable volumes resulting in extensive ear damage. He may also beat you with a large fiber glass and attempt to shove you in an industrialized freezer to preserve you for future generations. If at any time during the celebration you anger Mark then you will be allowed a 0.0000000000000000024800000000000996237588564821 second head start before he does the aforementioned items (see subject of "bad presents.") When at the celebration all members must say the word moose every time they talk. The first offense to this rule you will be given a warning. Any offense after the first will result in the immediate removal of your shoes without a defined return date. Please abide by all rules mentioned here and any other ridiculous rules made up during the celebration. Failure to do so will result in extremely long periods of Mark looking uber sad thusly giving you uber amounts of guilt. Remember to have uber fun at Mark's birthday celebration and remember to always brush your teeth before bed for when you are sleeping is when germs and bacteria are most likely to grow at night. 11 out of 10 dentists recommend using UBER brand Uber Toothpaste to stop this hideous affliction. (p.s. presents can be substituted with lunchmeats. Remember though that this is only considered a temporary replacement and an actual present is expected.) THANK YOU!
|
